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Read the Passage. Do you agree or disagree, or can you relate to his or her opinion in the post? Can you add any thoughts or additional information that you may have found concerning their topic?
Why do you think your attachment style impacts your relationships in the way it does?
According to the Relationship Attachment Style Test, I have a Secure Attachment to my husband. However, in my relationship with others, especially my parents, I have Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant Attachments (Relationship Attachment Style Test, 2022). I am comfortable with being exactly who I am around my husband. I feel confident that I can rely on him and know he feels the same way (Relationship Attachment Style Test, 2022). As a child, I did not feel secure and often feared abandonment. There was very little social-emotional care, and I was left to deal with my emotions alone. Because I experienced disorganized attachment during childhood, I had many fears and inconsistencies in my life. Additionally, my avoidant attachment to my parents taught me that I could not get too close to somebody, or I would be hurt (How our Own Attachment Style Impacts our Relationships,n 2022). Over time, I formed a secure attachment to my husband. I could be vulnerable and open with him. I trust him and feel safe and soothed in his presence. I still struggle with feeling insecure in close friendship relationships, though I actively work on my vulnerability and trust. I can see that this is due to the conditioning from my childhood (Kottler et al., 2015).
How can having insight into attachment styles help a person with their future relationships?
How we attach to others impacts how we navigate our current and future relationships. It is essential to understand how we attach so we can make changes where needed. If we have blind spots where we need improvement, we cannot make those changes (How our Own Attachment Style Impacts our Relationships, 2022). I tend to distrust people. By recognizing this, I can hold boundaries, let people into my life, and learn to trust them.
What insights have you gained?
I have spent many years processing these concepts with a counselor. As with most circumstances, many aspects are involved that create who we are. I believe I could form a secure attachment to my husband because I had a secure attachment with my birth mother before she died when I was two. I believe it was because of that relationship that I could know how to be a securely attached mother to my children and wife to my husband (How our Own Attachment Style Impacts our Relationships, 2022).